


Spoiled

by sekiharatae



Series: Day to Day Life [20]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Tiny bit of Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-03
Updated: 2009-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24850129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sekiharatae/pseuds/sekiharatae
Summary: Just what is Tifa reading... and why?
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Series: Day to Day Life [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794073
Comments: 3
Kudos: 52





	Spoiled

**Author's Note:**

> For a request on the [](https://ffvii-het-meme.livejournal.com/profile)[](https://ffvii-het-meme.livejournal.com/)**ffvii_het_meme** for a story involving books. This is borderline crack, and would probably have crossed the border never to return except Cloud had a bit of an anxiety attack in the middle, and that sobers things.

An answering smile teased the corner of Cloud’s mouth as he heard Tifa giggle. He was at his desk, going over receipts and expenses, and she was curled up on the bed with a book, keeping him company. For the most part she’d been quiet, but over the last few minutes she’d been making soft sounds of amusement at seemingly random intervals. When she gave up and burst out into open laughter, his curiosity got the better of him.  
  
“What’s so funny?”  
  
Her eyes were sparkling and her cheeks pink. “This book Yuffie insisted I had to read.” The nosy little ninja had asked for details about their sex life, and when Tifa wouldn’t give them to her, she assumed it was because they didn’t _have_ one. Her solution had been to force a handful of lurid romances on the exasperated bartender, telling her they were for ‘inspiration’.  
  
From what she’d read so far, Tifa felt she should be the one giving tips to the author.  
  
Cloud tilted his head to read the title, and she obligingly moved her fingers out of the way. The cover featured a dark-haired muscle man wielding a glowing sword in his right hand. His left arm was wrapped around a tiny, auburn-haired woman with too much chest and not enough blouse. Cloud's lips twitched and he arched his eyebrows. “Yuffie thinks _Materia Blade of Unbridled Passion_ is a must-read?”  
  
The question, posed in that bland tone of his, prompted Tifa to fall into another fit of giggles. “I don’t know if she thinks it’s a must-read in general, or just for me. She suggested it might be... educational.”  
  
“Educational?” Cloud’s tone was skeptical, but he really wasn’t paying all that much attention. He’d turned back to the mess of papers on his desk, and was absorbed in figures and calculations.  
  
“Yeah. She thought it might give me some ideas.” Tifa mentally slapped her forehead for not shutting up sooner, and waited somewhat anxiously to see if he’d press for more details. _Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask._  
  
“Ideas?” he prompted, scribbling down numbers.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye he watched her fidget, blush growing, before blowing her bangs out of her face with an abrupt, uncomfortable huff. “For things to do in bed. She thinks it’ll give me ideas for different ways we can... have sex.”  
  
Cloud paused for a fraction of a second, then continued writing. “Oh.”  
  
_That’s it? That’s all he’s going to say?_ Tifa peered at his silhouette, and was fairly certain he was frowning. She’d thought he would tease her. “Cloud?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
All of the previous humor in his voice had vanished, his attention drawn inward, no longer focused on her or the papers in front of him. Concerned, she sat up and reached over to put her hand on his knee. His eyes immediately shifted to her face, and she could read worry there. “What are you thinking, Cloud Strife?”  
  
He stared at her, expression carefully blank. There were so many ways he could answer that question: _I’m thinking that Yuffie is far too interested in our sex life. I’m wondering why she thinks you need pointers on the subject. I’m worried there’s something you need, that I’m not giving you. I’m afraid that you’re unhappy._ “What are _you_ thinking? You’re the one reading the book.”  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him, worrying her bottom lip, then sighed and flopped back down on the bed, accepting – for the moment – that he wasn’t going to answer her. “I think the author is confused, and that Yuffie probably is, too.”  
  
He relaxed a bit at her answer, and turned to face her, one arm propped on the back of the chair, the other hand still resting on the desk, pen loosely held in his fingers. “How so?”  
  
“First, the hero hardly touches the heroine except to remove her clothes. I guess that’s because when he did touch her, to hold her hand, she practically had a fit of ecstasy right on the spot.” Holding hands with the right person was nice, but she doubted anyone had ever climaxed from it. “Then when they, um...you know... do it, she’s absolutely thrilled, and carries on at length about how great he feels inside, even though she’s a virgin and he’s not doing it _right_.”  
  
The tiniest glimmer of humor had rekindled in the depths of his eyes. “When they do it?” he asked, slightly teasing.  
  
She groaned, and hid behind the open paperback. “Shush, Cloud!” her voice was muffled, but firm. “You know what I mean.”  
  
Blond spikes cocked slowly to the side while he considered. “Do I?”  
  
One brown eye peeped out from behind the cover. “Yes.” Tifa sighed, and shook her head back and forth on the pillow, shifting to hold the book open with a thumb as she propped herself up on an elbow. “I guess it was a good thing that she was so happy about him holding her hand, because when they actually had _sex_ it was over almost before it started, and the guy fell asleep immediate– _what_?”  
  
Cloud’s head was bowed and he was watching her from behind drowsy lids with a blatantly pleased and self-satisfied expression. He was also smiling, apparently no longer concerned with whatever had him worried before. “I think maybe your book has that aspect right, and you have it wrong.”  
  
She blinked, then sat up to stare at him. “Cloud,” she said slowly, as if concerned he was having memory issues, “I know how long sex lasts.” Her tone made it clear that he should _also_ know this, as it was an activity they did _together_. When his smile only grew she frowned. “How can you possibly think I don’t know what I’m talking about?” she asked. “The people in this book,” and she shook it at him for emphasis, “are doing it _wrong_.” Cloud made love to her for _hours_ , and she was always considerably happier than the heroine from her novel when he finished.  
  
“You, Tifa Lockhart,” he answered, reaching out to press his pointer finger to the tip of her nose teasingly, “are _spoiled_.” Which was the exact opposite of what he’d feared. Whatever was going on in Yuffie’s head to make her think Tifa needed bedroom advice, she was obviously under the wrong impression.  
  
Tifa’s jaw dropped. “I am not!”  
  
Ignoring her, Cloud turned to the stack of books on the floor in the corner and pulled out a rather ill-used booklet which he tossed in her lap. It was a recruitment pamphlet, emblazoned with the Shin-Ra logo and the title: _What It Means to be SOLDIER_. “There’s an entire section on what kind of changes recruits should expect following the treatments,” he told her, once more pouring over the list of expenses for Strife Delivery Service. “It may help clear up some misconceptions.”  
  
“Cloud!” her voice was a strained squeak.  
  
“What?” his was all innocence. “I thought you’d find it informative. You can lend it to Yuffie, later, if you’d like.”

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a joke, but a bit of seriousness snuck in (sorry).
> 
> Romance novels really are full of misconceptions and stereotypes about sex. And I thought: what if Tifa had it backwards? A lot of the stereotypes are things that -- I admit -- are fun to write Cloud doing (that's probably why they're stereotypes in the first place: they're fun). He's also supposed to be enhanced, so we think nothing of him lasting forever and being able to go again in the blink of an eye. So... what if Tifa thought that was the norm? Then she would have the opposite reaction to more "realistic" sex scenes, where the guy doesn't last, or things aren't perfect from the get-go.


End file.
